I might like it in there…



Alpha.theXblog.org is an extended about me page…

There might be some over-shares here, so proceed with caution

I want to tell you something about myself that I’ve kept hidden for a long time now. The closest to me don’t really know the extent of it, and I have never given a full disclosure to anyone before, about just how “crazy” I am. I teach people about relationships based on my experiences, and although I vouch that my interpretations of what I experience are quite reliable, I cannot say whether the voices that I hear belong to the people I associate them with, but I believe they do. I FULLY believe they do, but since I have also been diagnosed with schizophrenia (after two sessions during which I could feeeeel my words fly right past my doctor’s ears when they didn’t fit his intended diagnosis) I cannot exactly say for certain that what I experience is reality, but I do believe that rather than a schizophrenic, I am profoundly psychic. There simply isn’t a diagnosis of “disturbingly strong psychic abilities” in the psychology books, so, all they have left is either a psychosis or schizophrenia. My doctor did admit, though, that there are people who believe it to be possible that such experiences are psychic, and I am not sure if he actually knew I did want an honest opinion rather than an excuse to file for a disability pension. ;) The first time, he was a bit uncomfortable with giving the diagnosis, the second time, after a long pause, he was a lot more assertive that I was, in fact, a schizophrenic, because, I believe, he had had enough time to conveniently forget the majority of what I said during my first visit. So that’s that.

I hear the voices of a heap of celebrities, some star quality normal folk, my family, my friends, essentially everyone I come to contact with even in passing or through an advert in a newspaper. I do know a lot of it is fake (I have a spirit who takes the role of people who I take an issue with for one reason or another and starts arguing with me just to see why I took an issue with that person). I can’t identify all of the voices, some have been here from the start and I cannot make heads or tails about who they are, and some I’ve only recently identified as some of my old friends from when I was 6 years and older, but I’ve lost touch with at… 19 or so, when I got my matriculation done.

So here’s the awkward part.

Have you ever heard of Twin Flames? I started my spiritual exploration by studying Twin Flames. It turns out that… There’s potentially more than one if you’re open to it… And I had to open my eyes to something I feel the spirit has been trying to tell me my whole life: There’s more than one; your men always come in pairs!! But… That is also not the awkward part. The awkward part is that… two is not enough, and a whole bunch of these men are celebrities, whose names you all know without blinking. I am… in a spiritual, polyandrous relationship with a whole heap of superstars whose names I am going to let out of the bag as it feels right, some, I’ve already talked about, some I haven’t… Johnny Depp seems to push me to mention his name here (and the fact that his recent divorce was fuelled by a conversation him and I had in spirit – I will tell you about that later), so I will mention him. I’ve become quite comfortable with talking about him in public during the divorce, so no drama. The rest of the guys, some of whom are happily married fathers, I have a few more issues to talk about but we had a discussion about it and we figured it feels good to bring it out in the open, and whatever happens, “However much I have to spurt and sputter about it, I want my name out there” said one of them whose name I’ll keep to myself for a little longer for dramatic purposes. :D But yeah. Johnny and I go a while back.

One of the reasons I want to bring this out in public is that I would feel weird about KNOWING all of this about these guys and our connection, and then pretend like I didn’t… Secondly, I want to give them the opportunity to dispute the connection and to reassure me and everyone concerned that they have no idea what I speak of if that’s how they feel like doing – I don’t want to claim them to myself through any idea of God’s intervention or such, it’s just that we’ve had a few good moments on the spirit level, that is… Unconcerned about the physical promises and the kind – and, after all, I could well be just a middle aged crazy fan for all I realize… But I don’t think so. And lastly, for my blog readers, I want them to have the chance to figure out exactly how crazy I am and how reliable they feel my texts are. Years ago I wanted to go all honest and open about the fact I believed that I was the reincarnation of Mary Magdalene, but I realized it can have two possible effects; People will disregard what I say because I claim to be MM, or they will take everything I say on board because they believe I am the reincarnation of Mary Magdalene. Neither outcome felt like a good option at the time, so I decided to keep it all to myself. Now, I can explain, for instance, why there is so many other Mary Magdalenes out there, which is, that the story of Jesus was a combination of several men, some of whom had wives, some of whom did not. All of these wives would, naturally, consider themselves Mary Magdalene. I’ll write more about that elsewhere – as I intend to rewrite the entire Bible before I’m done here…

So… I’ll just name-drop later. Just to be a pest. :D


Alpha (Sebastyne)